APRIL: I went home, but I had this strange feeling that there was something wrong with you. So I came back.
RON: It’s just a minor medical issue.
APRIL: AIDS?
RON: No, I’m safe.
APRIL: Blindness?
RON: No.
APRIL: Is it like a parasite or a virus or something you get from a bee?
RON: I have a hernia.
APRIL: Do you have syphilis?
RON: I said it’s a hernia.
APRIL: I know. It’s possible to have two things.Parks and Recreation, 2x02 The Stakeout
April: How about June 50th?
Resident: Sorry?
April: Do you think you could come back today at 2:65? He’s available then.
Resident: What is going on?
April: Looks like the only other day he has open is Marchtemper one-teenth. Does that work, sir?Parks and Recreation 2x21: 94 Meetings
“Okay, so this is a multimedia project. First, a bunch of rats made out of garbage. And um, this is a TV screen, it’ll be like a big flat-screen TV and it’ll play looped video of knee surgeries. And then, this is a human-sized hamster wheel that will be next to the mural, if we can get one, and it’ll be spinning and there’ll be like a fat guy in it all the time, like screaming and like, eating raw beef and like, bleeding and like, blood will like, come out of his mouth and stuff, and um, that’ll be right next to…the mural.”